Come back (be here)
by smaragdbird
Summary: Ever since Armando has come back, Alex has kept his distance while never letting Armando out of sight at the same time. (Alex/Armando)


Ever since Armando had come back Alex rarely let him out of sight.

Armando said he pulled himself back to physical form with sheer power of will but that wasn't the whole truth. He thought Charles knew the truth but if he did then he never said, never even hinted at it.

The others were certainly glad to have him back once they got over their surprise but none of them hovered at the edges of Armando's vision like Alex did. He wouldn't mind as much if Alex would only come closer. There was rarely ever that much space between them when they were at the CIA compound. Armando refused to call that time "Before he died" because he didn't actually die. He might not have been conscious throughout those four weeks but he didn't think that dying felt like that.

Dying was permanent and Armando had come back.

But Alex lurked at the corners of rooms and on windowsills when Armando was doing something in the massive garden that belonged to Charles' estate. Armando knew that Alex came to his door on most nights just to hear him breathe.

He never came any closer than at. As if he was afraid that Armando would vanish as soon as he looked away but shatter the moment he touched him.

When Armando had come back first he had tried to touch him like they had back in the compound Alex had flinched and looked at him they same way he had looked just before Armando had exploded. The look reappeared every time they accidentally touched and that was the only kind of touch between them anymore because Alex kept his distance as long as he could see Armando.

Armando knew Alex had missed him, knew Alex had wanted him back, knew Alex wanted to touch him. He knew he hadn't imagined that one kiss in a shadowy hallway at the compound late at night when they had been the last two awake and Alex had rested his hand on Armando's shoulder and had tilted his head up to kiss him.

Whenever someone asked what it felt like to be scattered into atoms he said he didn't remember.

The truth was.

The truth was that he heard a voice calling his name over and over and over again like a beacon sending out light to safely guard ships into the harbour.

Maybe he always had had the strength to pull himself back together but he didn't know until he had heard Alex call his name in his sleep. Because there was someone out there who needed him, someone who remembered his name.

Now he needed to call Alex back to him.

/

"Hey, I think I found a pinball machine in the cellar. Want to check it out?" Armando asked when he found Alex. Not that it was hard to find Alex, cornering him was more of a problem. "Since the Professor gave us the afternoon off."

"I...uh…I", before Alex could voice his protest or come up with some sort of lie Armando wrapped an arm around his shoulders and steered him out of the room. Under his hand Alex felt as stiff as cardboard.

"Great", Armando grinned to make him feel more at ease.

There really was a pinball machine in the cellar but mostly Armando wanted them to be there to have this discussion because he wanted to reduce the property damage.

They played a couple games and Armando inched a little bit closer each time until they stood as close as they had done on the night Armando had exploded.

Alex won, of course.

"Knew I should have tried it out a couple times before letting you have a go", Armando muttered and could see the tiniest smile on Alex's lips.

"Wouldn't have helped. I'm a natural", Alex said.

"Of course you are", Armando gave him a half smile. "The winner usually gets a prize."

"A prize?"

"Yes", Armando said and leaned in slowly to kiss him. He gave Alex plenty of time to move away if he wanted to but he didn't. In fact Alex didn't so much as breathe until their lips touched. Then he flinched as if Armando had punched him in the face.

"What are you doing?" he yelled, frightened.

"I'm trying to make things okay with us."

"I killed you! How can you want that back?" And the way Alex's voice broke stepped on Armando's heart.

"You didn't kill me. Shaw did", he said calmly.

"I gave him the means to", Alex protested.

"So did I. If I hadn't resisted him he wouldn't have tried to kill me." He had been over the scenario a thousand times as well and the only thing they could have done differently was that one: they should have let Angel leave.

"He couldn't have done it without me."

"I couldn't have come back without you."

Alex frowned at him.

"You called my name. I heard you call my name and I knew you needed me. So I came back", Armando explained.

Alex scoffed a little and didn't meet his eyes because it couldn't be that simple, could it? "So you came back because I had a nightmare?"

"Was it a nightmare?"

"I see you fucking burn. Every night. And then I wake up and – "

"It's not real." Armando ran a hand through Alex's hair. It was soft just like he remembered it to be.

Alex hand trembled when he reached out and rested it over Armando's heart. "I might need some convincing. I'm not sure I'll forget."

"I'm not going anywhere", Armando promised, laying his own hand over Alex's. He wondered what Charles would say when he and Alex moved into one room but he thought he'd understand.

And Alex put his other hand on Armando's shoulder and just like he had done in a shadowy hallway months ago he tilted his head upwards and pressed his lips to Armando's.

Not a happy ending maybe, or rather not yet anyway.

But it was a start.


End file.
